February 2012
4 posts
me: http://www.epicurious.com/articlesguides/seasonalcooking/winter/key-lime-pie
ok this is kind of an amazing read. it's less about pie and more about a crazy person and treasure hunt for pie
Gabriel: he found it in a haunted house?? too good
me: he had gotten into the ghost industry
Gabriel: which is a thing you do when you have a degree in hospitality management
me: can you get a degree in ghost industry management from the university of phoenix?
Gabriel: "Related industries: Hotel, Restaurant, Cruise Ship, Ghost"
me: "President Truman used to make the trip just to have her pie. I don't know what her story was." i imagine him saying that with contempt
Gabriel: SPONGE DIVERS.
Gabriel: What is Florida
Gabriel: What is it
me: grabbi karfiik - sponge diver
Gabriel: "This town ain't been the same since the sponges dried up."
Gabriel: "Mervin lost an arm down at the sponge refinery. Town made quite a fuss about it."
Gabriel: "There was a fire at the sponge plant. They evacuated the island."
me: The Tragedy At Sponge Island
Gabriel: "Not Enough to Soak Up All The Blood: The Tragedy at Sponge Island"
me: The Long Slow Leakage of Sponge Island
me: The Bleaching of Sponge Island 2: Red Tide At Dawn
Gabriel: "Guv'mint shut down the Sponge Plant. Won't let nobody-nears. *whispers* I reckon they's spongin aliens."
me: "I hear they got a bunker filled with sponges."
Gabriel: "I hear they's plannin to bomb Havana with spongebombs." They're gonna sponge Castro out of power
me: The Bay of Pigs of Sponges
Gabriel: "The Lost Spongey Treasure of Sponge Bay"
me: Muppet Treasure Island: Sponges.
Gabriel: Spongebomb Deathpants
me: Rugrats: Also Sponges for Some Reason
me: Rocco's Modern Sponge
me: AAAAAAH! Real Sponges.
Gabriel: Eureka's Sponge-le
me: conversation over, you win
Gabriel: that's all I ever wanted
me: i made a joke about having a valentine's date with fudgie the whale
me: she was like, "we must be brain twins because that sounds amazing hey guys i have an announcement i'm leaving"
me: COME ON
Gabriel: crushing defeat
me: truly, truly outrageous
me: and then i looked like i was going to cry and she asked me if i was ok
me: and i just said
me: '...brain twins." real sad
Gabriel: you just said BRAIN TWINS?
me: yeah
Gabriel: that's the saddest thing I've ever heard
Gabriel: this is tantamount to somebody closing the caskets on their parents, turning around to an empty funeral parlor and muttering to themselves, "Today's my birthday."
January 2012
5 posts
“Sticht is going to be my sexual consultant,” Wilson was heard to say. “When I...”
– Brian Burrough, Barbarians at the Gate: the Rise and Fall of RJR Nabisco
Gabriel: President Horseybooks speaks for the Common Gabe. He is truly a horse among men.
me: a horse with sunglasses.(among men)
Gabriel: Hot to Trot, featuring Bobcat Goldthwait and the voice of Rodney Dangerfield
racecars: horseybooks and guildenstern are dead
Gabriel: you have to think of it like weird candy, probably. candy that melts in your mouth and then kind of tastes like ice cream
Gabriel: which sounds great but you will probably go through some weird feelings until you get to that point
me: god i want nothing more than people to think of ME that way
“Sociopaths love power. They love winning. If you take loving kindness out of the...”
– The Psychopath Test, Jon Ronson
“yeah if you were going to draw a diagram about how hedge funds work coffee and...”
– MOTHERFUCKING SELF
December 2011
4 posts
““Odd,” said Arthur, “I thought you said it was a...”
“The universe gets older. So do I.”
– down and out in the magic kingdom
jonathan: are you hoping we'll evolve?
me: i hope we all evolve
me: what else is there to hope for without that?
November 2011
14 posts
I am so thankful. I am so thankful it makes me a little sick to my stomach. And not because of the fall — no, nothing like that. That has been relegated to an inconvenience, a limp in my head that keeps me from being able to blowdry my hair or go to the gym. The mortality considerations that everyone else took away I mearly groaned about and wondered how much insurance would cover.
Here...
On Big City Worship — written in January and conjured somehow tonight. After spending the requisite time of the gym every weekend I bundle up and pound the pavement. I walk and encourage a mix of sweat, leftover endorphins, and some bullshit music stew in my body and brain, spurning and churning over and over. At first I thought of it, as coupled with working out my body, as working out...
me: too late. [billy corgan - wrestling league founder] hit you with a chair
Gabriel: also I don't know if Billy Corgan and I could be in the same room together, because what happens to two people stuck in a room together when both of them are thinking about hitting the other one with a chair
gabe: what if there's only one chair
gabe: what if there are no chairs, would we have to leave
gabe: would we go together or search separately
me: i can't even
Asians Speak Asianese: In response to the... →
asiansspeakasianese:
Good early morning, #Twitterbronies! I’ve never done this before, but I feel compelled to write something directly addressing you all in a formal manner.
You may be aware of the #BecauseOfMLP hashtag. It was started as a means of simply professing how My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic has…
All the Single Ladies →
But what transpired next lay well beyond the powers of everybody’s imagination: as women have climbed ever higher, men have been falling behind. We’ve arrived at the top of the staircase, finally ready to start our lives, only to discover a cavernous room at the tail end of a party, most of the men gone already, some having never shown up—and those who remain are leering by the cheese table, or...
October 2011
4 posts
imremembering:
“The nature of nostalgia is that it seems to infuse life with a kind of added richness and charge because it’s being processed through memory. And often the nature of nostalgia is that we sort of wish that present day life had that charge.”
- Jennifer Egan on NPR’s On Point
Nostalgia, up until very recently, was considered a mental disorder/disease - a true pain and longin. ...
a blog: i think that picture with all the foreign... →
internethistory:
i spent one evening in may of 2010 watching “youtube uploads of the ‘My Angry Vagina’ segment of the Vagina Monologues performed by college girls with less than 300 views that I could find” and i blogged about it on my first blog, incidentalreport, which was on blogspot.
IncidentalReport is/was one of the best things that has ever happened to the Internet and I’m...
1 tag
September 2011
24 posts
17 tags
rosinhabela:
My name is Kelly Schomburg, I’m the girl with the red hair in these pictures. I was protesting at the Occupy Wall Street march yesterday when I and several other women were sprayed with mace and subsequently arrested. Many have already seen the video, which has been spreading like wildfire over twitter, Facebook, tumblr, and other video feeds, along with hundreds of other photos...
oh also, as I feel better about life! The Universe! Everything! my emo stuff and general self interested life blogging and assorted weirdness is, well, weirding me out.
So I shuffled it off to a seperate but less equal and less funny tumblr which I will update: 2 things about Josh / approvaloverfun.tumblr.com
You can follow that if you want to hear me get all up in my feelings. Or...
I hate the way the media is so fickle to cover cases like Troy Davis. So superficial, so last minute, so self serving, so disgusting. Where have they been? And more importantly: where are they every day, for all the families torn apart not just by the death penalty (all things considered, a relative minority) but by prosecutorial misconduct or perverted mandatory sentencing laws? Our nation...
1 tag
“Everything is energy. Physical matter is energy. Thoughts are energy. Feelings...”
– Pandit Rajmani Tigunait (via sending-you-good-vibes)
titled: I saw a man today. →
hangoutwithfriendsatcollege:
On the train. He was short, nervous. His arms were stuffed with papers and he shifted them constantly to check his watch. Two Teen Guards watched him. They came over to him, teased him about his hair and glasses, shoved him up against the glass of the train, spilling his papers, beat him with…
informal polling
me: at some point i realized i don't actually like people who have a lot in common with me. in fact, i sort of hate them
gabe: YES. x 100. co-sign
me: right?!
ok i'm not crazy
gabe: no that's not what that means
it means we're both crazy
because that makes no sense
me: i don't think any of the things i like, by virtue of me liking them, are masculine
and i already know what *i* think about them
i don't really care about your opinion
gabe: that's got to be it
it's the fact that usually other people like them and their reasons for liking them are inferior
me: or their thoughts in general are inferior
gabe: ugggh I know
I think a lot of it comes from my last relationship
she and I had the same exact favorite everything
book, band, tv show
me: it's not good
gabe: I mean, it should be
for normal people
it is
me: is it?
i was having a conversation with this guy
and i was thinking, this isn't awkward; we have a lot to talk about. [then immediately]
i do not want to have sex with him.
nothing could be less attractive.
gabe: could it be a secret hatred for the things you love?
me: probably
is it because we hate ourselves or because we hate everyone else?
both I guess
gabe: we are pretty messed up.
gabe: ...we just wrote an indie movie conversation from the 90s when cynicism was still interesting
just quote Rob from High Fidelity and fucking be done with it
“date: you don’t look like the type of person to lose control around...”
3 tags
wherein i discuss what "apolitical" means and make...
*editor’s/author’s note: tl;dr
I’ve never been tremendously interested in football, a statement that brings essentially no new information to the table. My last boyfriend is the CEO of a fairly successful sports analytics company – football built our house and put food on our table and dominated conversations and most of his free brain-time and also most of my frustrations. As a...
3 tags
ball so hard roundup
Over the course of ten+ years I’ve listened...
3 tags
3 tags
“Endeavoring to purchase something we think beautiful may in fact be the most...”
– Alain de Botton, “The Architecture of Happiness”
2 tags
